My journal Spread.

These are some of the most precious journal spreads ever because I've not been writing a lot these days and these are some of the new ones I wrote! Enjoy! There will be more spread to come and I started my first ever K-Pop spread ever (at the bottom)

bts #1 - Jimin

I just love journaling

I have not been updating for a while and I just wanted to share my latest journal entries, and postcards I've been sending my friends, I wish I have more time with my crafty stuff. 

My Solitude

Medora - excerpt (short story)

Fiction Art By ayujaded

The Present...

Dear Diary... 3rd August 3045

The date is not even relevant to the place I am currently living but we'll get to that some other time,

So there is this guy that I like. He is a Prince though and he might not like me because, come on, there are other hotter girls and he would prefer them than me. He is used to the pretty girls being lined up like the Sunday's buffet. He is in a world of rich and famous and he is from the royal family.

Tyler Ralle Keze... That's his name.

I am just a plain Jane from Earth, dreaming of becoming big. It is a tough world for me to live in because i am not much of a hero type. I do not like to pick a fight and I am always focusing on returning back to Earth. If I like a guy, I might fall for him but that is not why I am here.

I had to leave Earth because I am still underage and I was forced to tag along and like as if I can't stay with Aunt Veronica. My parents just have to bring me and end my life as it is. A perfect but simple life on Earth. 

Anyway,

It is probably just a crush and it is pretty normal I guess. A lot of his friends are into some of my friends too. It is like they have never seen girls like us. How different can the girls here be? Do girls from Medora has antenna on their heads that we do not know about? They look pretty much the same to me.

The boys here are more mature than the boys on Earth. They are more polite and nice and what a bunch of gentlemen. They are around 18 to 22 years old. Way older than me for sure. My dad would kill me even thinking about it then he will float me off to space…. when it comes to boys, he will step in and will loose his head.

It is the dual weather now, where 3 suns align to form a hotter climate but it is cold and windy at the same time, hence the dual weather. I am so good at this. I paid attention in my Medorian 101 class. I do not know when will I return back to Earth. My whole life is in New York and my whole heart and soul belongs on Earth. 

I hate it here and it is too late to give my parents the silent treatments. If I could make a wish, I'd wish to be back into my room and just stay grounded.

But then again, he talked to me earlier this week. 

feeling nothing but useless

I feel like a fool being used as a tool and one minute I am here and another minute there from this gut renching heart of mine. I didnt mean to be this way. I do not want to feel this way and I do not want people to think I am this way because the truth is who I am. I want not to live anymore not because of who I am but because I fail myself and everybody. Every single time I dissapoint myself, it is on other people expense. Am I that worthless? Am I such a loser? I am sure hell are all of those things. I hated myself for being this lazy everyone claim me to be. Yes I am lazy and I'd rather walk on a plank to hell if that would sattisfy everyone. And I'd kill myself now if everyone don't seem to mind. Maybe when I am gone, only they will have nothing to say or fight about? Maybe God will take my life first and that will save everybody some trouble and that they can lead their happy and normal life. It is like as though having me around is makes the black plaque return and killing everybody as I speak. Why bother living when I feel this way every single day. I do not want to impress anyone. I just want them to talk to me. I just want them to come to me and talk! And not pass judgement thinking I would feel offended. I feel like all I am was this dark and tall wall that they could not reach. I have a door for you to come in and talk but no... They prefer to talk behind my back and they prefer to leave my heart broken by not telling me and I had to find out from someone else. I could do this for hours but I will not. It is not even worth typing these words if they are true. I just swallow them all and let them die with me. 

a post... finally

Journal entries for the past couple of days. I really missed it! a lot!

Flow the Big Book of Drawing!

Ever since I was introduced to the Flow magazine from The Netherlands, I've always wanted to get a glimpse of what is inside. And this year itself a dear friend of mine gave me a Flow book (below) for paper lovers, I determine to get whatever special edition they have and I finally get my hands on a drawing book. I will not do a flip through here though because I do not have good camera but you can always watch YouTube videos on them. I bought it from the Borders at the Curve and it cost about RM110 :). I was glad I save up to get it and I am looking forward for the book 5 for paper lovers. I wish I could get my hands on previous books but I guess it is imposible.

Snailmail

In this new age of the Internet, people are so succumbed by their mobile phones and high tech gadgets. But I have always love to write and it did not matter whether it is a poem or a prose, I still love to write just by using a pen and a piece of paper. I will always find time to write even just one sentence.

From my love friend in Turkey and she is Tugba

From my lovely local friend, Farah :) Yes I write to my local Malaysian friends too

I used to write to a lot of pen-pals when I was in high school but I had to quit due to lack of time and I was still a student and I could not afford the postage at that time but a couple of years ago, I manage to get back to writing to new pen-pals especially to international friends. I couldn't believe it and jumped into the chance to meet new people. It was like I was reliving the old days. It was through the Instagram when I first saw some posts on snail-mail. But I felt intimidated because they were so beautiful! Snail-mailing has evolve vastly and as I remembered it clearly, it wasn't always that pretty.

So now I like to challenge myself to create nice mail art of my own and didn't want to make it too obvious that I copy them from the others. It is more like being inspired instead. So I like to get these beautiful paper design pads I purchase online.

I guess that's all about my love on snail-mail. I hope to be good at managing my letters though and send them out as soon as they got in. I have the tendencies to send them way too late. If you happened to stumble upon this blog, feel free to check on my Instagram at @poetessemo and DM me to be your new penpal. I am currently still looking for more penpals worldwide and hopefully I can find penpals from mostly Europe and the Balkan countries but everyone is welcome of course. 

Female penpals only!
preferable if you above 18 years of age.

Sorry but no male penpals :D

These are some beautiful ephemera for my journal and penpals.

poetessemo poetry

Curiosity Kills