I have not been updating for a while and I just wanted to share my latest journal entries, and postcards I've been sending my friends, I wish I have more time with my crafty stuff.
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Saturday, August 04, 2018
Medora - excerpt (short story)
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| Fiction Art By ayujaded |
The Present...
Dear Diary... 3rd August 3045
The date is not even relevant to the place I am currently living but we'll get to that some other time,
So there is this guy that I like. He is a Prince though and he might not like me because, come on, there are other hotter girls and he would prefer them than me. He is used to the pretty girls being lined up like the Sunday's buffet. He is in a world of rich and famous and he is from the royal family.
Tyler Ralle Keze... That's his name.
I am just a plain Jane from Earth, dreaming of becoming big. It is a tough world for me to live in because i am not much of a hero type. I do not like to pick a fight and I am always focusing on returning back to Earth. If I like a guy, I might fall for him but that is not why I am here.
I had to leave Earth because I am still underage and I was forced to tag along and like as if I can't stay with Aunt Veronica. My parents just have to bring me and end my life as it is. A perfect but simple life on Earth.
Anyway,
It is probably just a crush and it is pretty normal I guess. A lot of his friends are into some of my friends too. It is like they have never seen girls like us. How different can the girls here be? Do girls from Medora has antenna on their heads that we do not know about? They look pretty much the same to me.
The boys here are more mature than the boys on Earth. They are more polite and nice and what a bunch of gentlemen. They are around 18 to 22 years old. Way older than me for sure. My dad would kill me even thinking about it then he will float me off to space…. when it comes to boys, he will step in and will loose his head.
It is the dual weather now, where 3 suns align to form a hotter climate but it is cold and windy at the same time, hence the dual weather. I am so good at this. I paid attention in my Medorian 101 class. I do not know when will I return back to Earth. My whole life is in New York and my whole heart and soul belongs on Earth.
I hate it here and it is too late to give my parents the silent treatments. If I could make a wish, I'd wish to be back into my room and just stay grounded.
But then again, he talked to me earlier this week.
Friday, August 03, 2018
feeling nothing but useless
I feel like a fool being used as a tool and one minute I am here and another minute there from this gut renching heart of mine. I didnt mean to be this way. I do not want to feel this way and I do not want people to think I am this way because the truth is who I am. I want not to live anymore not because of who I am but because I fail myself and everybody. Every single time I dissapoint myself, it is on other people expense. Am I that worthless? Am I such a loser? I am sure hell are all of those things. I hated myself for being this lazy everyone claim me to be. Yes I am lazy and I'd rather walk on a plank to hell if that would sattisfy everyone. And I'd kill myself now if everyone don't seem to mind. Maybe when I am gone, only they will have nothing to say or fight about? Maybe God will take my life first and that will save everybody some trouble and that they can lead their happy and normal life. It is like as though having me around is makes the black plaque return and killing everybody as I speak. Why bother living when I feel this way every single day. I do not want to impress anyone. I just want them to talk to me. I just want them to come to me and talk! And not pass judgement thinking I would feel offended. I feel like all I am was this dark and tall wall that they could not reach. I have a door for you to come in and talk but no... They prefer to talk behind my back and they prefer to leave my heart broken by not telling me and I had to find out from someone else. I could do this for hours but I will not. It is not even worth typing these words if they are true. I just swallow them all and let them die with me.
